They Say You Don’t Forget

So I had a baby last year. Her name is Charlotte and she likes baths, doesn’t like to cuddle, and has her dad’s eyes. I love her dearly. A few months into carrying the Little Lady, I found that my writing was a little strained. It just felt harder. I prayed a lot, believing that whole notion of when I’m weak, He’s strong. It still amazes me I finished that manuscript at all. That was some divine writing time, to be sure.

A fantastic mom from my writer’s group spoke to my fears. “Your creativity will come back,” she said. Like riding a bike, I wouldn’t forget how to write. I wanted to throw my arms around this women and squeeze her so very much. I probably did. My creativity would return!

I clung to her assurances during those first months with a newborn. I just felt so drained. I did some editing but the thought of creating something new? Daunting. The same blank page that once exhilarated now terrified. Besides, I kept getting this nudge to wait. It was a timing thing.

But low and behold, the timing has given way to Go! Write! This was a definite Yay! moment. But that only lasted for about a minute. Then, I promptly began washing my sliding glass doors. This wouldn’t be all that strange except that I’ve washed the doors maybe three times since we’ve moved in… five years ago.

The timing was right, and yet I suddenly wanted to do everything but write. This reaction shocked me. Which proves how much I’m still getting to know myself. So I had to do some journaling. Turns out, I’m terrified that I’m not the writer I was pre-Charlotte. I’m scared that I can’t finish manuscripts anymore. Or even start them. What if my creativity well is bone dry?

The verse about asking and receiving comes to mind. I need God to teach me how to write a manuscript in this new life season. I believe He can and will. Even as I type that, I think about how God’s equipped me for the good works He has for me. Like, maybe it’s because I’m Charlotte’s mom that I’ll be able to write this next manuscript.

Ah, the adventure of creating. Where are you at in this venture?


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2 thoughts on “They Say You Don’t Forget

  1. awesome honesty sammie lou! love the pic also!:) “…when I’m weak, He’s strong…” is going to be a life-long mantra for me! i am so weak on my own that i wasn’t accomplishing anything before…so with Him, you will conquer anything in His name!

  2. sammiebennett on said:

    Love it, Crystal Lou! So very true.

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