Running in the Dark

Determined to clear my mind of its craziness and move my fragmented limbs, I set out last night for a casual run around my neighborhood. I didn’t know that my Creator had something more in store…Time alone, flowing thankfulness from the heart, which is vital to creativity.

Around the bend, I begin. Barely running, shuffling my leg and foot, since they naturally turn out like a zealous ballerina in first position. Yet, I am focused. Comforted by the sweet breeze and still darkness, I start to lose myself; the ego unwinds.

It is night and no one can see me

No concern with how I appear or to whose pace am I keeping up,

I smile.

Bright lights rush up and I bow to the shoulder

Cars, like endless obstacles in my life, I dodge them diligently.

The first one, my eyes lock; the glare hurts my senses

Nearly falling, my vision blurs; on to the next one.

This time, I know to keep my head down,

Focused on my narrow path.

It passed; I lift my head

And keep going.

This time more swiftly than before

Exhilarated after each impediment, weaving

I blow past, gaining strength,

Confidence, gratefulness and awareness;

I am glad no one can see me.

Running faster, freedom grows

Inside—from a private place,

Rising up strong in my lungs

Breathing sound, I am amazed.

Coming back, as I wind down,

Walking toward the villa

Resilient tears pour out.

All I can say is: “I’m so thankful.

Thank you, God. I needed this so bad.

Thank you for this time; for my family;

For food; for money to support ourselves;

For my thankfulness, for mindfulness…

Thank you for a sound mind.

Thank you for my legs;

My arms—my entire healthy body;

Every part of me—thank you”;

My chest heaving.

Coming back, I know that it’s not about me; how I look; how fast I go; if I am in anyone’s way; if I think I have enough energy or not; if I will regret this, if…if…if…if I am good enough. I’m not, but He is and my true freedom comes from embracing the imperfections—in myself and all humanity. I thank Him for the choice He bestows so I can be fully me.

Where does your freedom come from? How do you lose yourself to gain fresh life again?


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9 thoughts on “Running in the Dark

  1. sammiebennett on said:

    Okay, this was brilliant. I loved how the free-flow feel of the post matched the free-flow run. I loved how loose this whole read felt, and it loosened me up just reading it. Thank you so much for sharing, my dear!

  2. Lorraine Reep on said:

    ah…Crystal. This is nice. Touches a sweet spot in my spirit. Thanks.

  3. Crystal Gettings on said:

    thanks ladies! it felt pretty darn good–both the exercise and the writing…but then later I realize it is probably not the safest way to get freed up:) oh well!

  4. Crystal you are remarkable young lady. I am so very proud of your writing abilities and how you express yourself. I could feel myself in the run with you. The freedom you gain knowing God is with you wherever you go and lifting you above the circumstances of life. You are Blessed and I am Blessed to know your heart.

  5. Heather Ostalkiewicz on said:

    This post took my breath away. I was running with your words and felt that renewed energy to break free of the crap that holds me down.

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