Running in the Dark
Determined to clear my mind of its craziness and move my fragmented limbs, I set out last night for a casual run around my neighborhood. I didn’t know that my Creator had something more in store…Time alone, flowing thankfulness from the heart, which is vital to creativity.
Around the bend, I begin. Barely running, shuffling my leg and foot, since they naturally turn out like a zealous ballerina in first position. Yet, I am focused. Comforted by the sweet breeze and still darkness, I start to lose myself; the ego unwinds.
It is night and no one can see me
No concern with how I appear or to whose pace am I keeping up,
Bright lights rush up and I bow to the shoulder
Cars, like endless obstacles in my life, I dodge them diligently.
The first one, my eyes lock; the glare hurts my senses
Nearly falling, my vision blurs; on to the next one.
This time, I know to keep my head down,
Focused on my narrow path.
It passed; I lift my head
And keep going.
This time more swiftly than before
Exhilarated after each impediment, weaving
I blow past, gaining strength,
Confidence, gratefulness and awareness;
I am glad no one can see me.
Running faster, freedom grows
Inside—from a private place,
Rising up strong in my lungs
Breathing sound, I am amazed.
Coming back, as I wind down,
Walking toward the villa
Resilient tears pour out.
All I can say is: “I’m so thankful.
Thank you, God. I needed this so bad.
Thank you for this time; for my family;
For food; for money to support ourselves;
For my thankfulness, for mindfulness…
Thank you for a sound mind.
Thank you for my legs;
My arms—my entire healthy body;
Every part of me—thank you”;
My chest heaving.
Coming back, I know that it’s not about me; how I look; how fast I go; if I am in anyone’s way; if I think I have enough energy or not; if I will regret this, if…if…if…if I am good enough. I’m not, but He is and my true freedom comes from embracing the imperfections—in myself and all humanity. I thank Him for the choice He bestows so I can be fully me.
Where does your freedom come from? How do you lose yourself to gain fresh life again?