I’m a walker. I’ve tried the whole running thing, and maybe that hobby will stick one day… But for now, I walk. And I’ve been listening to sermons by this pastor who I love (he quotes Anne Lamott, people!) and so, so often he talks about leaving results up to God.
This is really hard for me. I like to own results. I feel comfortable owning results. And, of course, this mindset makes me crazy. Because trying to own something you can’t control is psychological torture. Which apparently is a personal talent of mine.
I’m getting ready to release my first novel, and I’m thinking about results. I’m wondering what on earth I’m doing. Did God really nudge me toward this? Is this really the right time? I mean, really. What if people don’t like it? And, of course, the bottom line question: What if people don’t like me? Ah yes, that people pleasing stuff is just delightfully insidious, isn’t it?
These questions come swinging, hitting me square in the face, and I’m left dumbfounded, wondering why I’m doing all of this. It’s so much work. It’s so hard. And it could all fail miserably.
But then there’s this pastor, telling me to leave the results up to God. Reminding me of how important it is to ask for God’s help if you’re doing God’s work. It’s so simple. I need help. Of course I do. I do my teeny tiny part to the very best of my ability and then I release it, like a balloon in the sky, letting it fly wildly and not fooling myself into thinking it’s my power that’s keeping it afloat.
Focusing on results can kill the artist’s vision. We’re so fragile. And fixating on results can break our thoughts into a thousand splinters, leaving us paralyzed with fear and unable to do the real work of creating. But if we tuck our thoughts into the hands of our Creator, he can help take those thoughts and mold them into something that glows and sings and dances in ways beyond ourselves. This is joy.
So what you do you think about this whole results thaing? Do you become results oriented? How does this affect your art process?