They Might See Too Much
So I might have cried in Starbucks last week. Which was, ahem, a wee bit embarrassing for me. Thankfully, I was with a friend who has seen me through many a good cries. She listened and murmured her understanding as I chugged my chai latte and really, really hoped the baristas weren’t overhearing all of this.
See, I had just posted the first chapter to Penumbra, and I felt like I was suffocating. My thoughts went a little like this… Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. OH NO. I need to undo this. How can I undo this? What if people click on the link? What if they read it? Then they’ll know I’m not really a writer. And they’ll hate my story, and I should just stop all of this right now.
Mostly, I was just scared of being seen. The kind of seen that happens when we create something from the deep down places that exposes us as broken, searching artists.
God has taught me so much about this “seeing” by putting some just fantastically quality people in my life. I’ve learned that I can let others into those places, and they’ll love me all the more. They’ll even open the door to their own places in turn. Well, as much as any of us can. There is an intimacy that’s reserved for God alone, and I’m thankful for that!
A few nights ago a woman approached me after reading my first chapter and talked about my characters, by name. I totally freaked out. Hearing their names on her lips breathed such life into them. What a gift to know that she cared about these two people (however fictional), and that she wanted to know more of their story.
I felt such hope for them and for me.
We don’t have to be afraid in the telling of our stories. If God is leading the way, and showing with whom and when to share, then we can boldly tell our tales. This is my prayer for me and for you too, fabulous readers.
So what about you? Does sharing your art with others ever scare you? How so? And how do you move past the fear?