crystalHope everyone had a Merry Christmas! My mind has been all over the place this week, so I finally decided today to share a little free-write from my notebook earlier this year. I remember writing this piece. I was sitting in the parking lot of Target as my son had fallen asleep in the car seat. In that moment, my spirit opened up, telling me to pay attention. So, I wrote a few things down:

A deep longing

Something is fighting to escape

A knot builds in my gut

Nudging me to act

Creating a butterfly

That will

No doubt

Be free.

My faith is a foundation but my spirit is the fuel

That will guide me to my life’s purpose.

Everywhere I turn

There are detrimental distractions

Pawing to snatch away

What He has already given.

But it is up to me

Whether I accept with all my heart

Or give in to the numbness.

Even when normalcy is choking me

I will fight until

Life breaks through again and again.

Doesn’t matter how much struggle

Will ensue now that You

Have made me aware of this battle.

Visions of the delicate countryside fill my eyes

Sitting on an old-fashioned porch,

Gazing at open fields

Covered with flowers

Horse galloping

Guiding me to open spaces

Of freedom.


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7 thoughts on “Freedom

  1. sammiebennett on said:

    Oh my, Crystal Lou. This is so poetic and so very beautiful. It’s funny, because when I free write I too write toward open fields and flowers and green meadows. I think it’s that deep down drive to Eden. Love you, friend, and thanks for sharing from your journal!

  2. Mike Black on said:

    Freedom is a destination that Jesus wants to take us to everyday, sometimes we can only make it every now and then. I’m glad you pen it so others can experience it.
    There is a kindred here with my soul as well.
    I love your visions!

  3. Crystal I’ve found myself more and more aware of fighting the numbing sensation, of feeling smothered by normalicy. I love how you write it…”detrimental distractions”. I think everyone in the world is fight the enemy. For some it is a much more obvious fight, like the fight for hope in the midst of poverty and hunger. But I think for many of us here in the U.S., the distractions, the business is in many ways what will kill us and our purpose. Anyway, this post really made me renew my fight again, to stay awake, to keep driving out of my normalicy and towards my writing, my God-given job. Pursuing the work God’s given me is never normal and never numbing!

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