threaded

the saving of something irreversably declined: redemption

heatherOur society knows very little about redemption.  We are the land of sweat, hard work.  We pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.  We work for the American dream.  You want it, you make it happen.  The notion of redemption, rocks me.  I have a strong sense of needing to be self-made.  And I drag my notions into my art.

re·demp·tion n

1.  the saving or improving of something that has declined into a poor state

2.  the improved state of somebody or something saved from apparently irreversible decline

3.  the buying back of something given, for example, to a pawnbroker, as security for a loan

4.  the removal of a financial obligation, for example, the repayment of a loan or promissory note

5.  deliverance from the sins of humanity by the death of Jesus Christ on the Cross

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

I was something that had declined into a poor state, apparent irreversible decline.  My life was a state of paralysis and therefore, my art was also at a stalemate.  There is something incredibly damaging about not being able to do the thing you were born to do.  It is a kind of hell.

I surveyed myself often, going over the damage.  Going over my strategy, how was I to get back on my feet?

And then God…my redemption story is for another time…but much of me has been restored and it wasn’t because I found some kind deep buried strength.  It was an act of God.  Grace.  Undeserved.

When I write now, I find my old demons start circling like vultures.  The old paralysis comes back.  And in that moment I call on my God.  I hold onto my redemption.  And then I start to write.  And I feel the fulfillment, the power, the sheer ecstasy that comes from being solidly in my skin working in the heat of my calling.

Have you been redeemed?  What do you do to hold onto your redemption?  Is there something you wish to be free of, something that is holding you back from your calling?  I’d love to hear it all.  There is power in speaking the pain and the truth.

——————————–

In case you are interested I added the lyrics from Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave.  God provides ways to remind us of things we need extra help remembering.  I find this one does the trick.  You can find the song on iTunes.

Seems like all I could see was the struggle

Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past

Bound up in shackles of all my failures

Wondering how long is this gonna last

Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son

Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, I’m redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy

Named by the voice of my shame and regret

But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”

I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be

Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me

‘Cause his day is long dead and gone

Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same

And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be

Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be

Jesus, I’m not who I used to be

‘Cause I am redeemed

                                                                                    Thank God, redeemed

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4 thoughts on “the saving of something irreversably declined: redemption

  1. Wow, this is so powerful Heather. Thanks for your sharing: “When I write now, I find my old demons start circling like vultures. The old paralysis comes back. And in that moment I call on my God. I hold onto my redemption. And then I start to write.” How human, just like Jesus. Thank you for this!

  2. sammiebennett on said:

    “There is something incredibly damaging about not being able to do the thing you were born to do. It is a kind of hell.” Oh my word, Heather Lou, this is just stunning. I so appreciate your honesty about the struggle of creating and living the redemption you seek to write. Just amazing. In answer to your questions, yes, I have been redeemed. Thank you, Lord, for that. I mean really. Though I don’t always live like it. I can forget so easily and live out of my old thought patterns. I hold onto this redemption by reading scripture, opening up to good friends, and journaling. And yes, there are still areas in my life where I’d love healing and freedom. It’s the scripture reading, talking with friends, and journaling that tends to reveal those hurt places. Love you so very much, and I’m so thankful to call you my friend!

  3. Thank God, Redeemed!!!

  4. Pingback: Redeemed–what does that mean? | The Good News

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