I’m working on a new manuscript right now. I’ve had several false starts, and I’ve felt completely stupid and unimaginative, and just altogether wrong. I even convinced myself that God didn’t want me to write this new story. Because that’s what I do when I’m afraid. I cower in the corner and let the haze of fear block me from my Healer’s voice.
But then my Healer spoke through the haze, loud enough that my heart has been ringing with truth ever since. Don’t hold back. You feel fear. Stop, turn inside, grab it around the throat and drag it to me. I will take care of it. I will slay your dragons and fight your demons. And you will write free.
I’ve been so passive about the presence of fear in my life. I made my peace with it, in a way. Accepted it as my faithful companion. And then I just began to ignore it. I thought if I looked at the fear too much, then I’d open the door wider, letting it grow all the more.
That’s so twisted. The act of ignoring has the same affect on fear as yeast does in a loaf of bread. It’s the surest way to expand it. I’m seeing that now, and it’s making all the difference in the world.
I will fight this enemy of mine instead of playing the role of helpless victim. I am not helpless; I have divine Help that is ever-present. I am not a victim; I am a warrior made in the image of God.
As an artist, I choose to stop, turn inside, grab fear around the throat and drag it to God. He will take care of it, and I will write free. That’s a promise.
How do you write or paint or dance or (fill in the blank) free? How do you address the fears in your life?