Failure and Recovery
Usually I try to write blogs that aren’t just for writers. I want them to be for all artists, for all humans with a calling. Today, I definitely think this is for everyone but I’m going to write it from the perspective of a writer and I’ll let you translate it into your calling.
I’m enamored by the scripture that says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” [John 1:1] As a writer I see how God weaves himself into what I write. And its very easy for me to believe, in a more literal sense, that God inhabits words when he needs them to serve a purpose.
Today I read these words. “This child marks both failure and recovery of many in Israel, a figure misunderstood and contradicted – the pain of a sword-thrust through you – but the rejection will force honesty, as God reveals who they really are.” [Luke 2;34-35]
This passage is a prophecy referring to Jesus. And like I’ve said many times before, my life as an artist becomes more and more inseperable from God, so here’s a little thought about how Jesus really cuts through us in order to bring out the people with calling we were created to be.
As I surrender more and more of myself, my pain, anger, confusion to God I am no longer living in the grey area. It becomes more and more clear that I am either healded or not healed, striving or still. I’ve heard a lot of people who have come to believe that God is cruel because the people who’ve claimed to know Him are cruel. The passage above that talks about Jesus doesn’t make him sound exactly soft and cuddly. But I’ve found that while He cuts me open with truth and I have nowhere to hide, it is done with a peculiarly effective grace and mercy. The wound he inflicts is the opposite of mortal. Although part of me dies from the wounding, it is a part of me that was already dying.
God resurrects a person inside me that I’d forgotten. A person who is whole and very well, and who does things that bring other people life. Don’t be afraid to stop in the midst of you darkness, whatever that may be for you, big or small. Know that this is NOT what God intends for you. And then with honesty start speaking to God. Tell Him the truth, tell the dark thoughts, the red emotions, the insidious words your drowning in and He will resurrect you and you will be more fullfilled. You will save lives through your calling because you are now whole.
So fellow mortal, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you experienced this strange paradox of death and life? Have you been wishing God would cut something out of you and feel like God’s just ignorning your cry for help? Or has He answered?