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Archive for the tag “God’s calling”

do you dare believe?

IMG_0360“Now Job hears and experiences God for himself. After that encounter, his perspective recalibrates from a focus on the why to the who, all of his questions scuttle off, replaced by the knowledge that God graced him with his presence.

The enormity of God is revealed.

Everything becomes right-sized in Job’s world.

Still covered in soot and scabs, Job confesses something he has known all along deep down inside: God can do anything and everything, and no one and nothing can upset the plans of God.”

[Wonderstruck by Margaret Feinberg]

I’ve tried to fit my wrong-sized thoughts into a God-sized calling. I’ve tried fit bloated lies into God’s construction by shaving them down with my human explanations. And I’ve tried to make myself so less than that God, and everyone else, could become right-sized. But all my efforts have just atrophied my world, my mind, my calling, my heart. Until He spoke:

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?

Job 38:4-11

I hear his rumbling answer, raging, capable, and I feel a strange peace. Do I dare believe in this wild, untamed God? But His words bring a feeling up from deep within me. My world suddenly feels right sized, and I feel a curious strength in my reliance on Him. And I say to Him, I will trust in you Great Creator.

Has your world taken gone terribly misshapen? Do you believe you can feel right-side up even in the midst of hard or tragic circumstances?

There’s a good chance quite a few of the next few weeks of posts will be inspired by Wonderstruck, so be prepared to want to buy the book!

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Lying Still

Lies are an odd topic for a ‘good, Christian girl’ like me. I laugh and tell people I’m not a liar. When I lie my face burns hot, my tongue trips, and I can’t hold eye contact to save my life. But recently, in my pursuit of freedom, I’ve found myself digging out of a mountain of lies.

When I felt pain, I told myself it wasn’t pain and buried it down deep. When I felt fear, I told myself I wasn’t afraid and I ran far. When I felt anger, I told myself it was wrong and held onto a crackling, happy smile.

My lies added up to one terrible cost, a life of depression and the death of who God made me to be. And I, a being meant for great movement, was left lying still.

My lies cast dark shadows and my being doesn’t give off the light of the One Who Saves. This world needs all the light it can get, but I’m left unable to speak about freedom. My lies deaden my senses and I can no longer trust myself. Trust is necessary to make to decisions and to create.  My lies steal my ability to truly love. Without love I become isolated.

Lies are one of the Enemy’s greatest weapons, because ultimately, the crime is pinned on me. Until…The Great Love rescued me again. I write because I’m free. I write because I believe fewer and fewer lies. I write because I can’t help but speak about Hope.

Do you lie to yourself? Are the lies holding you back from what God created you to do?

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galations 5:1

rogue shopping lists

What’s really important?  Writing down the idea God keeps pressing in my mind?  Or…

Look at that pile of laundry.  Why didn’t I finish it Saturday when I had the chance.  Grocery shopping.  Don’t forget to make the food list before I go.  Pick up the kid from school.  Don’t forget to smile at the neighbors like life is peachy.  The garage is an absolute mess.  I can’t even think about the state of the bathroom at the moment.  What am I making for dinner?  Ugh, I hate last minute planning, I need to come up with a better system.  I’m exhausted. I haven’t done my writing.  I promised myself I would today.  It’s 10 o’clock and my brain has stopped moving.  I failed.  This just isn’t how I thought it would all turn out.  I’m the mouse who turned the house upside-down over a cookie.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”  [2 Timothy 1:7]  A sound mind.  God knows I think a sound mind is worth more than money or time.  I’m praying for a sound mind, but I’m also praying for eyes that can see what is important even in the midst of the ‘everyday’.  And I’m praying that the core of my soul will be at peace in the midst of ‘everyday’.

The work God has entrusted me with may end up saving someone’s life and quite frankly, a few dishes on the counter (i.e. Mt. Kilimanjaro) might not actually be as important as I first thought.  What’s going to last after I die?  Will people remark for ages over my God-like cleaning skills?  Or could it be possible that they will talk about the book I wrote, the article, the blog that changed the course of their lives…the very article that almost got derailed by a rogue grocery list.

What has God called you to do?  Are you finding it difficult to stay on track?  How do you stay focused?

Snagged

I prefer to downplay the role of art in my life because art isn’t logical.  It’s not sensible, there’s no guarantee it will bring home the bacon.  Surely God has called me to do something more stable with my life.

God isn’t bland.  He’s not safe.  But he’s as steady as a rock.

He told me so just last week.  So then I get pumped feeling like I’m on the brink of some adrenaline spiking adventure, the kind I’ve daydreamed about for years.  And I sit down to write and I slog bravely through a few rough patches.

And then I hit a snag.  And by snag I mean I have suddenly lost all ability to read and write.  The page is colors and symbols and I don’t know what it means.  My adventure becomes worse than mundane.  It’s an illusion.  A happy story I made up when the sun was shining and the birds were singing.

I lose my faith.

The truth is God called me to do this.  I may never see the end result.  It may be too many mundane tasks and hard days to be called an adventure.  But God said, “Write.”  So I’m writing.  Because ultimately all I want is to be working for God.  I work through Him.  I work for Him.  I press on.

What gets you through the mundane or impossible moments?

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